Companies that build data centers don’t just pollute the environment, waste water, drive up electric rates, and dodge taxes. Sometimes they also sponsor NBA jersey patches.
An “AI cloud firm” called Iren has agreed to replace Rakuten as the jersey patch sponsor for the Golden State Warriors in a deal that’s reportedly worth $50M per season. For context, that’s enough to pay for 7 1/4 Al Horfords, 10.8 Gui Santoses, or over 58 Pat Spencers!
IREN Ltd. is an Australian company that actually seems less evil than the usual data center operator. They’re still primarily used for artificial intelligence cloud services and Bitcoin mining, both obviously cool pursuits for both individuals and the entire United States economy to focus on. However, Iren claims that their centers use only renewable energy, purchased from “clean or renewable sources” like solar or wind. Of course, they provide a disclaimer that sometimes they use “renewable energy certificates” which are like carbon offsets. It’s basically a certificate that says, yes we used fossil fuels, but we’re going to pay someone who did create renewable energy because we feel bad about it.
It’s still better than a non-renewable energy data center company.
This deal isn’t just for the Warriors jersey patch. The deal extends to Iren branding on the warmup gear of the Valkyries and the jerseys of the G League Santa Cruz Warriors, along with signage throughout the Chase Center.
But according to the Warriors’ chief commercial officer, Mike Kitts, this deal isn’t about the money, silly! The Warriors made the deal in order to “push the boundaries of innovation on a global scale and create a lasting legacy across the Bay Area and beyond.” Which is exactly what every fan wanted the team to do this offseason: Push the boundaries of innovation — on a global scale. That’ll impress LeBron, right?
The Warriors will also partner with this Australian company to do educational programs promoting “STEAM” — that’s the normal STEM, plus arts, because children still need to be educated in the discipline that artificial intelligence is actively destroying. They’ll also donate 10,000 Warriors jerseys each year to underserved communities and refurbish basketball courts.
It’s a very lucrative arrangement for the Warriors, especially since they still have a partnership with former jersey sponsor Rakuten. Unfortunately, their previous lucrative deal with FTX is probably not coming back, no matter how much Steph Curry and Shaquille O’Neal might want it to.
He put on all that mime makeup for nothing!
How does this affect the casual fan? Not really at all, aside from one annoying jersey patch being replaced by another annoying jersey patch. However, the Warriors may need to brace themselves for a late-night barrage of Truth Social posts from the president because he mistakenly thinks the team has signed a sponsorship deal with Iran.
“Mouthy Steve Kerr of the FAILING Golden State Warriors, who was very unfair to Jonathan Kuminga, need to tell IRAN to OPEN THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ and start running more big beautiful pick and rolls for Steph Curry. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”
This big-money partnership with an Australian company does explain some other previously-inexplicable Warriors decisions. Namely, drafting Australian Alex Toohey with the No. 52 pick and signing Tasmanian Taran Armstrong to a two-way contract. Did they truly believe in these prospects from Down Under who never played a minute in the NBA or was this just a clever ruse to get on the good side of a company that was going to give them enough money to pay for 23 1/4 Will Richards?
Regardless, it’s time to say “G’Day” to Iren! Please don’t steal/pollute all our water!
